Monday, January 3, 2011

Parenting Article - finished & unEDITed version

I sat down to write my weekly parenting article and was totally peturbed with myself for waiting till the last minute to write it. It's weird some weeks, it totally comes easy to me..if I am inspired throughout the week from maybe a conversation I had with a parent at work or even something that happened with my own kids at home (it is a parenting advice column).

But sure enough, the holidays got the best of me and I didn't write during my hiatus from school. Which means I was way out of the habit and I was down to the wire to get an article done.

So I had an idea - what if I didn't edit my submission? What if I wrote down all the mayhem that takes place in my head when I am writing that? Would it be entertaining? Would it be embarassing? If nothing else it would be an entry for this hit-or-miss blog I am working on.

Here's what I wrote UNedited. Follwed by a link to the actual article.

Have you ever met anyone who said on December 31st that they kept each and every New Year’s resolution they made?
Me neither! I mean, can you imagine being at that New Year’s Eve party and some jack wad is bragging over his beer
Of course not, a man could never keep a resolution for an entire year.
Wow, well that was mean. (and I don’t mean it anyway)
But you know there is some anal-retentive, OCDish woman out there who’s tried and has almost succeeded. She’ll tell you she successfully kept her resolution all year, but she hasn’t. She almost did but in her mind that’s close enough. She’s not your friend of course, just some random braggart. Cuz you could never be friends with someone who’s that successful. We tend to befriend people who make us feel good about ourselves. Overacheivers get on my nerves too.
Even though I am regularly accused of being one.
That’s a story for my therapist. Not that I have one. But don’t think I don’t know that I need one.
Anyway, have you ever met anyone who’s kept a resolution all year long? Of course not! Who can honestly do that? I guess if you resolved to go to sleep every night or eat everyday, that could realistically be done. But that’s a touch absurd. And it wouldn’t count anyway.
This is not nearly professional enough. Let’s get serious.
You know what would be funny, if I posted this as it actually came out. I write so weird anyway (not that I know what nonweird is when it comes to writing). I always do this though. I just type it out. ‘It’ being whatever comes across my head. Then I weed through it to find the meat. Huh! Wonder if it would be interesting to put it side by side. This mess and what actually comes out of it….
Start over.
Have you ever met anyone who said on December 31st that they actually kept each and every New Year’s Resolution they made?
Me neither! I mean what type of person can actually pull that off?
Yet despite the overwhelming evidence that we will fall short on our own promises, most of us have lined up our verbal vows and promised to avoid sweets, swearing or cigarettes. Meanwhile resolving to ramp up our exercise routine, at-work attitude and church attendance.
There are some of us who refuse to make resolutions. These honest hearted folks understand well their capacity to fail quickly. They wonder, "Why even should I even make a decision knowing I can’t see it through." You gotta give them credit for their honesty. (or stupidity depending if you’re a glass half full half empty person)
Actually I hate that saying. Because why start an argument over a fact that is correct both ways. I mean if you’re a glass half full person, what gives you the right to make a glass half empty person feel bad. The glass is in fact half empty. Yes it’s half full but its also half empty. So you’re both right. So who cares? This is the most mute point I’ve ever heard. It causes folks to argue over something when the answer really is yes and no.
Wow. Can an answer be yes and no?
Hmm I could think about that one for awhile.
But back to my article.
Why do I wait till the last minute?
I had 2 flippin weeks off and here I am the night before plunking it out…
I wonder if I’ll have the nerve to actually post this as I thought it.
There are some people who refuse to make resolutions because they understand this yearly dilemma. "Why", they ask themselves, "should I make a resolution I know I can’t keep past January?".
Good reasoning.
So where’s the middle ground? Is there a middle ground?
Well ask the Danes! I recently read that Denmark is full of some of the happiest people on the planet. Guess why!
No really guess why…..

While Denmark is heavily taxed and suffers from less than perfect weather
Denmark is heavily taxed and has less than ideal weather conditions but they are rich in one thing: realistic expectations.
And I think they might be onto something.
What if the formula to a Happy New Year’s
What if the key to creating a really great New Year’s resolution is to stop reaching for lofty, unrealistic improbable, self imposed expectations?
Here’s just a thought, but what if instead of promising to never eat sweets for an entire year, vow instead a more doable action, say indulge on the weekends?

I was talking to my g’friend about this the other day. I’m gonna text her to see what she said. Ooh! She’s calling she suggested:
Instead of dieting vow to eat smaller portions or 3 chocolate candies instead of the whole bag
If you want to exercise more never say you’ll do it everyday instead shoot for 2 a week
And why in the world would you try to do something so difficult as quitting smoking or some sort of addiction without professional help.
Or instead of resolving to read to your kids everyday, vow to read to them more.
(some back to reword this)
Granted these suggestions are not exactly measurable. But maybe that’s the point. But maybe that’s the key to happy New Year resolutions. Maybe if we cut ourselves a break this year and -give up our addiction to self judge,-
give up our narcissistic need to constantly -see how we are measuring up and simply be. – measure our progress and simply be.
Be more active. Be kinder. Be a hard worker. Read more. Save more. Spend less. Smoke less. Drink less.
, kinder, a harder worker, save more, spend less,
measure our successes we’d stop and realize we are missing out on so much more aren’t shouldn’t
hmmm come back to this – fell like my resolution suggestions are a bit judgemental…let me ask the facebook world what some of there resolutions are/were…maybe that’ll inspire me.
Hre they are: have more spontaneious fun
Second guess myself less
Stop making resolutions
Create calmness, decreas chaos
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Deal with the paper sooner

Failed resolutions give us cause to give up. We think, "I can’t exercise everyday! Why did I say everyday? I quit! This is too hard!" and we stop walking the treadmill and we never get any healthier. I’m just asking, isn’t one walk a week on the treadmill a good place to start?
Add words like more, less, sooner, often, be better….
Ug I’ve been sitting here too long.
What’s that smell?
Oh yeah, I forgot I had left the ground beef draining in the sink.
I hate grease.
Ok, let’s finish this out.
Crap, I got my sleeve wet when I was in washing the collander.
Ok here we go…
So what if this year we resolve to not give up resolutions but instead to approach them in a new and improved way. Let’s celebrate forward momentum instead of lofty goals. Let’s avoid setting our self up for failure and subsequent quitting, by simply being a little gentle and realistic with ourselves.
May you, in this still newly fresh year, find joy the joy and peace and health we all long for. May it come to you as you as easily as
May it come to you
May you realize it will not come to you through the endless cycle of promises made and broken but instead by your willingness to not quit. May your tenancity guide you. May you be happy in this new yar not because of the the things you’ve acquireed but because of the difference you can and will make. This is the gift I want I can give my children. A life lived with purpose. A life that continually moves forward and doesn’t quit when it stalls. We all will stall. We all fall short. We all want to quit unrealistic resolutions. Instead press on this year. Why? Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!
May it come to you not by quitting, but by sticking with it. May you be happy in this new year not because of what you have but because of what you intend to do – what things you have but because you really can do better. How much better, well that’s up to you really. May your resolution be intact . But may you find in
What if when it came to New Year’s resolutions we celebrated forward movement instead of heady goals? What if we could avoid failing, which subsequently leads to giving up, by simply being a little more realistic with ourselves? with realism?
and thereby giving up, by realism?
What if we resolved to read more? Play more? Spend time with our kids more?
I hate ending this thing. It’s always such a chore to end it. What do I do now? My tag line totally doesn’t work…this isn’t even a parenting article and my articles always end with
"Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!"
Freaking tag lines.
I’m quitting now. Walking away from it and polishing it off in the morning. I always work best like that.
Walk away and come back to it with a fresh mind.
I wonder if I’ll really post this.

link to finished copy here

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