Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Drowning in love

Abigirl & me (from May 2009)

For some reason unbeknownst to me, Abigirl is clinging to me more than ever.
Her hugs are fiercer.
Her kisses wetter.
Her presence more meshed with mine.

As we drove home from school today, her twin sister wanted to be dropped off a block away from our house so she could 'pretend' to walk home from school.
She is silently screaming for independence.
Abigirl however, didn't even get out of the van when I dropped her and her siblings off at the door. She wanted to wait with me. Be there for the extra 3 minutes it would take to park the van in the garage.
She said, "Mom, I just want to be with you as much as I can".

I've noticed her need to be near me more and more frequently in the last few weeks. She's repeatedly asked to sleep with me, ask about my work schedule, invited me to her cafeteria for lunch....

Tonight daddy tucked the twins in. An hour after his goodnight, Abigirl is on the steps, calling down to me, "Mooooooooooooom! You forgot to hug and kiss me!"
When I obliged her, her sweet little body tucked in beneath her oversized blanket, her hair still sweet and damp from the evening shower, I leaned in to offer my lovin.
Her face was concerned.
I sensed she was unsure if she'd be punished for getting out of bed after lights out.
I was generous with my affection.
And again her hugs were longer, her kisses firmly planted, her love declared for me.
I equally loved on the twin in the top bunk and turned to leave.
As I approached the door I thought I heard my name, I turned to look.
I saw my girls looking at me.
I smiled.
I turned to leave and again I thought I heard my name.
I did. It was Abigirl, "Mom? I love you from waaaay down deep in my heart."
What could I do as I stood at her doorway, my heart drowning in a river of happiness?

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