Tuesday, March 21, 2017

FOMO No More

Let's talk about FOMO.

Or more precisely I need to process FOMO because I'm growing uncomfortable with this fear-y thing growing in fervor. I can practically feel it breathing down my neck. Recently I've even turned and entertained FOMO and I don't like the way it makes me feel.

What is it? Fear of missing out. (Shudders).

This may not be acceptable to admit to oneself - or even out loud, but I've worried about being left out. Worry about what everyone thinks. Worry about what make and model my kid will be seen driving. What I'll be driving. Where I'll sit. That comment thread on Facebook.
On Twitter.
On Instagram.
I worry about my posts, my likes, my shares.

And it can't be just me.

I see FOMO at work. People who won't shut their doors and get their work done because they're too afraid of missing a conversation, information or being seen. All the while work is suffering and stress abounds because piles add up on their desk.

I see FOMO in parents. Moms and dad buying and spending paying more attention to their child's appearances than to their character.

You know, character. The development of internal traits to DO good and BE good in dark places.

I see FOMO from the bleachers. Travel leagues and open gyms scheduled not to teach skills - not really - but organized to generate that warm fuzzy feeling of inclusion.

And FOMO is rampant on our phones. We scroll and refresh constantly trolling for virtual information that we weigh and measure against our self esteem. I'm tired of every conversation starting like this: Did you see on Facebook...?

It's okay to close your your door and get work done.
It's okay to tell your kids no. It's okay to not buy them what they want.
It's okay to not play a sport / get that lead.
It's okay to shut down the notifications on your phone.

You don't have have to be afraid of missing out.
You - there, at home tonight .... you with nothing exciting to post or tweet about ... you - as you are right now - are fine.

Listen, tell that little voice inside your head to sit down and shut up.
Because anytime you begin to think or start a sentence with "I'm just afraid ..." you've got to stop ... pause ... and rethink for a just second.

"I'm just afraid if we miss the deadline he'll be devastated"
(he will & probably should have lots of disappointments in life - lots! and that's okay!)
"I'm afraid if we don't get her a (_______insert expensive purchase) she just won't be able to (_____ insert activity she can live without).
(oh she can - she can most certainly live so a new phone / tv / car)
"I'm afraid if I let this relationship go nothing better will come along"
(Nothing better? Ever? Never? .... come on!)

Fear based decisions will rarely ever provide you a solid foundation for moving yourself forward in life.

Don't be afraid.
Let's FOMO no more.
I want to live life doing what I want to do. I'm ready to drop the hustle that at best, only produces a mirage of my own life.
I want to relax a little with what I have - who I am - and where I'm going.
And I'm not afraid to look for friends who want to join me on that journey.

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