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Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Let's Give Them Something to Talk About



I have a running dialogue in my head.
Do you?

I listen to myself "talking" about these things, in this order:
  • I think about everything on my To-do list
  • I strategize which item to tackle next
  • I theorize which is the "best" way to proceed
Then I do the thing and then,
I start a new conversation:
  • I examine the process to see if I "really" did the thing as best as I can
  • I follow that up with a chastising because I know it wasn't good enough and I really should have tried harder / done better / worked smarter 
This is a true representation of my brain all day every day.
And lately, if I am being honest, it is not working for me (see Enneagram 1).

Something has to change. 
And I resolve it ain't me. I am made the way I am.
I think that is why most of us feel unsuccessful with new year's goals or intentions. We think about what we don't like about ourselves and try to do something to change it.

But here I am midlife thinking, "This is clearly the way I am. If I haven't changed me in 40 years, what makes me think enough willpower NOW will?"

So I've taken a different route.
The narrative in my head continues (of course it does), but instead of letting the harsh, negative, judgy conversation take center stage I am working to speak to myself like I love myself,
like I believe in myself,
like I already have it within me to do what I need to do.

And if you think I'm kidding, I'm not. On my daily To-do list, I task myself to find affirmations in an effort to keep the narrative positive and supportive. Just today I wrote out this quote by Dr. Jody Carrington:
"You are pretty friggin awesome. Keep that shit up. Seriously!".


This effort to recalibrate seems to be working. In a recent exercise cool-down session, I told myself I did a good job. I reminded myself to love the body that got me here. I thought about how powerful my body is to have been able to do what it does and love the people it loves. 

You all, I made myself cry. WHO DOES THAT???

Does any of this resonate with you? It's a shame we need to be reminded to be kind to ourselves. But honestly, we live in a time when we - in my opinion - need to be reminded to just - flat out - be kind in general.

If you too are too hard on yourself allow me to encourage you. 


Talk to yourself, about yourself in the kindest and most loving way you can muster.

You deserve to like yourself as you are today.

You are perfectly and wonderfully made.

You have something to contribute to this day.

We need you to bring good energy and love and good news with you - to your home, work, neighborhood, and community.

One more Dr. Jody quote I caught on her January 27 live
"When we are acknowledged we will rise."
Acknowledge your awesome self.
Be kind
AND
be kind to YOU.






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