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Thursday, July 30, 2015

This One Thing Might Send Me to the Looney Bin

I've been a parent for 20 years.

I've got a lot of experience. I know how to be in charge of little people. I can lead them, encourage them, and most impressively, feed them on a tight budget. I've got 5 of em and by golly, I love em. But they are going to send me to the looney bin if they don't start successfully and repeatedly master this one daily task.

Teeth brushing.

Everyday, twice a day, at least 4 times a day I say "Go brush your teeth."

Not to be confused with, "Have you brushed your teeth?"

You see, I'm a mom. I know when you have not brushed your teeth. I can see the leftover chocolate milk clinging to the plaque on your 2 front teeth from across the room. I can smell your morning breath lingering till noon. I know you walk in the bathroom and walk out and pretend to have brushed, but honey, I can hear the water pipes from down in the basement. You ain't foolin no one.

But you are making me crazy.

I've said "Go brush your teeth" EVERYDAY of your life. TWICE a day! At least! How is it you have failed to master this task?
You're not surprised you have to brush.
It's not a skill with new levels of difficulty that you have to master.
You like the flavor of toothpaste.
You can reach the sink.
You have opposing thumbs!

They way I figure it, if I've said, "BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" everyday of my parenting career, twice a day to 5 children I've said it

73,000 times


And people, I'm warning you, if I spend the next 5 years of my life repeating that phrase you can certainly plan on visiting me in a rubber room. Because it's not having 5 kids that is going to make me insane, its having 5 kids with funky breath and cavities.

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What is the one thing you do as a Mom that drives you crazy? I'd love to hear!



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