Sunday, March 1, 2015

My Instagram Cake

I'm so happy it's March. I'm this happy...
A photo posted by Stephanie Sikorski (@steph_sikorski) on

And while I'm happy to say goodbye to February I still can't shake last month's memory of the Valentine Mother-Blunder. You see, I kinda, sorta, a lil' forgot about Valentines Day this year.

I've also forgotten to pick a kid up from daycare (twice!), forgotten about the Tooth Fairy on multiple occasions, and missed a birthday party (not my own kids though - so there's that!).

I don't remember a lot. In fact, I usually only know what comes next. There's never planning ahead in my life. There's "Whew! That's done. Now, what's next?"

A dear friend once said she was impressed by my ability for such an active capacity.
I'm sure she meant it as a compliment.

People ask me, "What was the score to the game last night?"
I don't know.
Or "Where's the field trip scheduled?"
I don't know.
I know the important stuff, like where my kids are and what's for dinner but other details often, and regularly, go unknown.

And the way I see it, I have 2 choices:
I can pretend like I know what's up and give fake answers.
But, that makes me feel icky and shallow.
I can be real, admit I don't know what's going on and risk looking aloof, or worse, looking like an overworked, in over her head, stressed out mother of five.

So, when it was the morning of Valentine's Eve and I was walking out the door for another day at the office, my 10 year old looked at me and said, "I need Valentines and treats for 25 tomorrow. ok?"

NO! um, no. It's totally NOT okay but can I break her heart? Can I drop the ball? Will I be able to sleep at night knowing she'll go to her class party empty handed?

No I cannot. I grabbed my lil sweet child by the shoulders, looked her square in the eye and said as firmly and un-stressed as I could, "You must go tell your father exactly what you need and he will pick it up at the store. ok? Exactly, child!"

She nodded her head and placed her trust in my care.

When I arrived home from work she was at the table writing her Valentines. Score 2 for Daddy who saved the day. I looked over her shoulder at her class list and kissed her sweet head. My heart felt warm knowing a crisis had been averted. That is until she turned and asked, "What treats are you gonna make Mom?"

(insert braking noise)

"Sweetie, I thought Daddy was gonna get your treats"
"No, Mommy, he only bought me these"
"Darling ...."

Expecting a verbal lashing, or worse the onset of a nervous breakdown, husband assures me that he did communicate with the 10 year old and she assured him she only needed Valentines. He swears no treats were discussed. And alas, I am on my own in this room mother crisis because darling Daddy is on his way out to work for the evening. He kisses my cheek and leaves as I'm left standing there in my stocking feet, surrounded by 4 hungry children. My blood pressure rises exponentially.

As luck would have it I found 2 boxes of cake mix in the pantry and determine to make cupcakes. The fact that I have no cupcake liners, no icing and no time to change out of my work clothes are irrelevant. I find butter and powdered sugar and I preheat the stove. 

3 hours later I post these on Instagram.
A photo posted by Stephanie Sikorski (@steph_sikorski) on

Kids are in bed, I finally sit down, prop my feet and decide to relax and unwind with my Facebook feed. Turns out I'm not the only Mother who forgot Valentine's Day. My feed is full of oh-my-gosh-I-forgot updates aaannnnnd since misery loves company I feel so glad that l'm not alone in less than perfect life.

But when I attempt to commiserate with my Momfriends I imagine they scoff at my cupcakes and are all like, "Yeah right! YOU MADE CUPCAKES!"
"You make us feel worse about ourselves because YOU BAKED!"

Sensitive as to what I was communicating - afraid my cupcake photo looks a little too .... InstaPerfect ... I feel inclined to comment on it myself:

So that's what I want you to know. Filters and angles and cameras snapped at just the right moment can make any thing - even my I've got no vegetable oil and not enough sugar cupcakes - look like total AWESOME-sauce.

And if we're not careful, others awesome-sauce can make us feel worse about our efforts.
Don't let this happen!!!

Pictures are worth a thousand words but my last minute, whipped together, cupcakes won the prize not because I had the prettiest post of the night, but because the look on my daughter's face the next morning when she discovered them was PRICELESS.

Listen, your best is enough. It is. And don't let mine, or any one else's Insta-Life fool you otherwise.

What about you? Have you ever purposefully posted or NOT posted something because you feared the way it looked? Please tell me I'm not alone ......

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