Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Can I get a Ride?

This is me

This is The Tribe

And this is our Van

which is better than this

(this is a real van in my really small town that really often parks next to me at the really cheap grocery store)
Everyday I load it up and do the morning run!
The morning run consists putting my 3 littlest kids in the van,
picking up the neighbor girls
and driving around town until I've dropped every last one of 'em off.
This is my route.

I. Go. The. Same. Way. Every. Day....
Coffee in hand
backpacks, lunch boxes and children in tow.
Yesterday, however, my mundane morning was rudely interrupted.
A taxi cab followed me to drop off location number 1
But no children got out.
Hmmm, interesting.
The taxi cab followed me to drop off location number 2.
And again, he had no children with him.
Finally, and quite concernedly, the taxi followed me to
our final destination aka drop off location number 3
and he parked next to me in the back of the building.
Somewhat alarmed and completely hesitant
I acted like I didn't see him.
But he was having none of that.
He got out of his cab and rapped on my passenger side window.
I cracked the window and asked "Can I help you?"
What follows is the actual conversation that ensued.
Cab Guy: Yeah, I was wonderin' how'd you get that job?
Me: Excuse me? What job?
Cab Guy: This job! I want the school district to contract me to drop kids off at school.
Me: Buddy, these are my kids!
Cab: But you go to every school!
Me: Yep, I take my kids to school.
Cab: Well I'm looking for some work.
Me: I can't help you fella. These are my kids.
Cab: But I noticed another blue van drops off at every school too.
Me: I don't know about that! Like I said, these are my kids!
Cab: Whodoya think I should call?
Me: Listen up. Nobody pays me. This isn't a shuttle van. It's my van. These are my kids.
Cab: (extended silence) Huh?
This is my life folks. I ain't makin' this stuff up.

**addendum, upon telling this story to the lovely secretaries at my school I was asked in complete sincerity if I'd ever consider adding her kids to my route. sure K! why not?!? :)


  1. Hahaha! Oh my gosh this absolutely wonderful. Truly it is. I don't think anything like that has ever happened to me.

    What a life. ;)

  2. Heehee! That's great. One more example of "jobs you have for which you receive no compensation."

    The only time a taxi followed me was when I lived in Chicago over twenty years ago and me and my dipwad roommate were wandering around in a "new to use" neighborhood. The taxi pulled up and the driver said, "get in - you're not safe here." We got in and he took us straight to the L stop.

    Your story is much better and you are much smarter.

  3. IKR!?!?!
    If only I could think of a supercool-notdorkyatall decal or vinyl decor to add to my van to help me be cool in the beast!


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