|image via commentsyard.com|
Can I first say that I made it?
I really made it!
And I don't feel like I'm draggin' my sorry butt across the finish line. I have a sense that I may not have come in first in this race but I certainly didn't come in last, or worse.... quit.
I feel a sense of accomplishment.
Do you ever feel good about yourself to yourself? Do you ever have opportunity to? Have you ever given yourself a genuine pat on the back? To sit down and reflect about a thing and feel good in your heart of hearts about it?
God, this year had some ugly lows but it had some fantastically terrific highs.
I wouldn't trade a one of them.
I really wouldn't.
And I think that's the key. To come to terms with yourself and your life and journey. Are there some things I would have done differently?
Do I have some regrets?
Do I wish for a different ending in some of the stories?
But I can't change the past.
I can say sorry.
I can do better.
I can be smarter.
I can work harder.
I can learn the lesson.
I can choose to go forward.
I can choose hope.
I choose hope.
I love hope.
I need hope.
I look forward to 2012 with great hope.
I invite you to have hope.
Hope in better.
Hope in all that is good.
Hope in God.
Hope in yourself.
Hope that with each passing day you are growing and learning.
And all that growing and learning is infusing your soul
forming you into the person
you are intended to be.
A person writing a better story.
Making a difference.
Making a life.
Making her way.
Be blessed in 2012 and enjoy this entry from October 14th.... my favorite Finance Friday blog from 2011:
Starting the Finance Friday themed blog has been the most therapeutic thing for me. I've learned a very important, yet personal lesson in this process. Had I kept quiet, shame and embarrassment may have eaten me alive from the inside out. I think it's quite possible to lock a secret inside so far that it begins to alter your belief system and damage (possibly irreparably) any shred of self confidence you have. Secrets when held inside have nothing to do but float around your brain. And an untamed thought can wreak havoc. Holding in things creates a one sided conversation. You think about what you know and you imagine what others would say if they knew what you held inside. We imagine and pretend how others would perceive us and almost all the time we imagine people being harsher with us than they really would be. So we begin to believe that others will shame and reject us. These thoughts swim around in our mind constantly. And we begin to believe what we think people would think about us, rather than give them a chance. You might find if given a chance, people, especially those who love you, will rise to the occasion, love you for who you are, not what you've done or how much money you don't make.
If you keep your secret you'll drown in your forecasts of rejection.
But if you have a friend for which you can unburden yourself, you'll be swallowed up in love and acceptance.
I think that's a chance worth taking.
Finance Fridays was a big risk for me.
But the payoff was huge.
Suddenly I'm not embarrassed.
I was mortified to be so forthcoming about our current financial situation but I've received nothing but love because of it.
And that's huge.
It means a lot!
Today, though, it was hard for me to come up with a Finance Friday blog. I've had a wicked combination of jet leg and re-entry shock the last few days since returning from a missions trip abroad. Then the week before that I wasn't writing two weeks ahead of time.
But as I was out walking the dog this morning I was thinking and pondering my life & a Finance Friday entry. And at 6 in the morning, in the complete stillness of the neighborhood, I examined my heart and felt (read on here ...)