(this blog originally appeared on www.sikorski7.webs.com January 2010)
Let me be clear and completely honest about one very important thing: I am not simply in love.
I am not just doing ok.
I am not lucky to still be married.
I am deeply, madly, absolutely, happily in love to the man I am still and will always be married to.
I wish I could invent a new word for the feeling I'm trying to describe.
What's the word that means more-than-happy? I'm afraid if I just say 'happy' you'll miss just how deeply and strongly I feel. Because whatever 'happy' means to you, your definition, I am sure I mean at least 5x more than that!
Happy when typed into my word processing program has a host of synonms. I could substitue content, blissful, glad, pleased, joyful, cheerful and in high spirits to try and communicate just what I mean by happy. But I am all those words and so much more!
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else is as happily married as I am.
You see, he brings me coffee in the mornings.
He warms my car on cold days.
He serenades me.
He sends me texts just because.
We go to bed together every night.
He can’t sleep without me.
He scrubs the pans when I make a disaster prepping dinner.
He loves when I cook.
He tells me I’m awesome and I believe he believes it.
He shields his eyes at indiscriminate times.
I know all his passwords.
He tells me I’m the prettiest girl in the room.
He is a fantastic father.
He loves our children.
He is affectionate to them.
He encourages me to reach for my dreams.
He dates me.
He kisses me when I come home.
He likes my lists.
He reads aloud to me from books that move him.
He works at not interrupting me.
He stopped finishing my sentences.
He laughs at my jokes.
He thinks my feet are pretty.
He’ll lay on my side of the bed to warm it up.
We have a secret way to say I love You.
I don’t think he is even capable of physically harming me or the things that I love.
I’ve seen him cry.
I have no secrets from him.
I love studying him and it’s cute when he watches me watching him in a crowded room.
He’s a good man.
And I am madly in love with him. I didn’t know this was possible. I assumed, when I said “I do” 17 years ago, that our love would wane over time. I didn’t believe senior couples -interviewed after 70 years of marriage- who confessed they love their spouse more now then the day they married them. I didn’t think I could love my darling anymore than that day.
I was infatuated then.
Really. Even the minister counseled me before the ceremony to be more realistic and warned I should take him (and I quote) “off the platform” I've created in my heart. But I couldn’t do that then and cannot today.
I am more-than-happily married today because he has and continues to fulfill my every high expectation of him. He loves me more than I thought I could be loved. And for that I adore him.
I just wanted to be clear.
I am in love with Aaron.